Midnight Special! I have watched a film.

And it's A Serbian Film.

SONG OF THE DAY: There is no song of the day, as it is now nighttime.



Ah, being witty again, aren't I?


Yes, I have watched a film called A Serbian Film. Naturally, it's a Serbian film, as mentioned in its title. A little history about how I came to watch it first.

Wilfred introduced the film to me, though he hasn't watched it. There was a period in time where messed up movies were the talking point. We're talking about Human Centipede-level of messed up here (go google human centipede if you don't already know about it). I mean, just read the wikipedia blurb on A Serbian Film. Might gross some of you out, so be warned.

"A Serbian Film (Serbian: Српски филм / Srpski film) is a 2010 Serbian horror film set in Serbia, the first feature film directed by Srđan Spasojević. It tells the story of a down-on-his-luck porn star who agrees to participate in an "art film", only to discover that he has been drafted into a snuff movie with child rape and necrophilic themes."

And that is very much messed up, don't you agree?
Anyway, I watched the movie, and here is my review of it.


Firstly, let's talk about the trivial things, like the movie poster.



Pretty standard fare, honestly. Main character's face, with the villain-of-sort's face being shown in a "rip"in the poster. I like the bold use of colour there, and the poster overall has a pretty gritty feel, much like that within the movie itself. The title's font also takes on the gritty motif- oh God, the title.

The title's absolutely ridiculous. I see what you're doing there with the "ooh I'm all self-aware" thing going on, but it seriously doesn't work. I mean, there are better ways to do this self-awareness thing. You can at least tell us what the movie's about, like so.


Not the actual poster, but close enough.


To be honest, I freaking love High School Musical.

Or, you can can be one lazy ass and give us a really stupid name that seems witty at first, but gets increasingly stupid the more you think about it.


Don't forget Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, Superhero Movie and the eventual "Stupid Romance Movie". Oh wait, there's twilight! OH SNAPPPP


You could've at least put a backgrou- Is he wearing sneakers?


I'm gonna have to get on to reviewing the content, don't I? Oh well. Warning again, it's pretty gross, so if you've a weak stomach or heart go and do something less stressful, like knitting or something.



Remember the blurb up there?

"A Serbian Film (Serbian: Српски филм / Srpski film) is a 2010 Serbian horror film set in Serbia,"

It claims it's a horror film. Honestly, it's less horror than it is just plain disgusting (although that may count as horror for some people). I remember some people saying that Serbian is pretty much worse than Human Centipede in terms of sheer horror. I beg to differ. Watching the film didn't scare me as much as it did gross me out. However, I'm pretty desensitized to disgusting things so the effect was lost on me. Don't bring me to a real horror film though, cause I'm a serious pussy when it comes to scary shows.


Let's see if you understand this one.

Point is, though it is disturbing, it isn't a horror show at all (the only thing that scared me was the when the credits started rolling, and that was because I didn't expect the music to come in so suddenly). In fact, the wikipedia article on Serbian sounds scarier than the actual film itself. Come to think of it, the wikipedia article is even grosser than the film itself. If you're used to gross things much like I am, reading the article, where your imagination can run wild, is more explicit than the film itself. Grotesque scenes are controlled with lined-up shots where view of the grotesque action is obscured, or the grotesque thing is just out of frame. Having read the article, I was expecting much, much worse than what was actually presented to me.

That doesn't mean that the film is lacking any shock value, though. The plot is messed up as messed up can be.

It revolves around a retired porn star called Milos (which is a rad name since it's like a plural version of the drink) who's a little lacking in the funds to support his family. So, he decides to do one last job when he's approached by an ex-colleague and promised an insurmountable amount of money, an amount that could sustain his family for the rest of his life. However, the catch is that Milos isn't aware what kind of porn he has to do until he's actually in the situation itself, where he is then instructed by the director, Vukmir, on what to do.

Naturally, the plot develops into some super crazy shit. Milos eventually realises that Vukmir's a little off centre when he asks Milos to film a sex scene while an underage girl watches by the sidelines, and he refuses to continue filming.

Realising that his film is about to be ruined, Vukmir drugs Milos and puts him into various crazy situations where there's lots of sex involved. For the following 3 days, Milos is put under some drug which not only makes him listen to Vukmir, but also makes him as sex-crazed as a child rapist at a Hi-5 concert.



Here are some notable scenes. Possible spoilers up ahead. Also, don't read this if you're easily disgusted.

The scene where a drugged Milos has sex with a woman, chops her head off, then continues having sex with the body.

The scene where an unconscious Milos gets sodomized (raped in the butt) by one of Vukmir's bodyguards.

The scene where Milos, once again drugged, has sex with a body that's covered by blankets, which is later revealed to be his drugged young son, while Milo's brother, who's in cahoots with Vukmir, rapes Milo's wife right next to him.

The final scene where Milos, after having saved his wife and child, commits suicide with the two of them via a well lined-up gunshot. After which, an unnamed director (Milos had killed Vukmir by this point in time) comes in with two bodyguards. One of the bodyguards proceeds to take off his pants, and the director instructs him to "start with the little one".

And the biggest gross-out scene is when Vukmir, in an attempt to reach out to a reluctant-to-carry-on-filming Milos before drugging him, shows him one of his earlier productions. In it, a man is seen helping a woman give birth. After which, it's unclear what the man does. The scene then cuts to Milos looking away in disgust and leaving, and we're not shown what Milos had actually scene. However, as Milos leaves, Vukmir screams out.

"Can't you see, Milos? This is a new genre of porn! Newborn Porn! Newborn!"


Probably your reaction after the last one.

Doesn't all that make you want to throw up? Not me, sadly, cause like I said, I'm desensitized to such things. All in all, it's a pretty decent film. Though the content itself is very disturbing, it's presented in ways which make it less disturbing. All the above-mentioned scenes are not that graphic. Like I mentioned before, most of the dirty deeds are done off-camera or are obscured through camera tricks.

The film's supposed to be an analogy on how the government's always screwing with the people, and making people screw other people. This is supposedly represented by all the screwing going on in the film. But, like the way the shock's lost on me, the meaning's lost on me too. Sure, I do see the screwing and all, but I just don't really feel the connection.

Either way, if you're like me and you're not affected by graphic images, then do watch the film in your spare time. You can ask me for the download link, as I am a pirate. If not, then go study for your promos or A's or something, cause it's really not worth the time unless you have time to kill.

All in all, I give this film a K out of 5, as I am bad at math and the film didn't have Optimus Prime in it.


Now excuse me while I go watch a comedy to make myself feel a little better.


The fastest hands and the biggest mouth sound kinda kinky, actually.



I think it's now become official.