Oh. My. GOD.
Actually for today I did more than just watch Transformers. I'd actually gone to the zoo! But I will talk about that another time in a more picture-heavy post. For now, I'll talk about Dark of the Moon. And in what better form is there to discuss a movie than in a review! Sure, it has the big budget, the over-the-top action and the some third thing which I can't think of right right now. But does it really hold its ground as a movie? Here's my COMPLETELY UNBIASED review! omg optimus prime is so hot.
Firstly and most importantly, the logo. When the title sequence came out for the movie, I immediately noticed this. It's shiny, much like the original logo sort of is, and we all like shiny things. It's a departure from the gritty feel of the first and second movie's titles, a departure that I appreciate very much, as if a homage to the original series. I also like the slightly sharpened font as compared to the previous movies' title fonts.
Notice how the logo for Dark of the Moon also shows a reflection of the moon. That's pretty damn smart, since the moon plays quite a big part for the first act of the film, plus it's also in the movie's name. Good job, advertising boys! All in all, I like this logo alot, and I give it a score of three million out of ten. Would've gotten four million if they'd included the Autobot insigna like the original did.
If any of you happened to know of Pink Floyd, which is a totally rad-ass band, you'd surely know of their hit album, The Dark Side Of The Moon. Here's the iconic album art.
Now imagine if they'd combined the two. That'd be the best possible logo anyone could ever conceive.
And it has been achieved.
Now on to the things that really matter. For instance, the story. I'll try not to spoil anything for all you people who have yet to watch it. It's pretty much about Sam whining his ass off for the first half of the movie, and metal grindin' action for the second. It escalates from a "oh we just found this item which may be the key to the plot of the whole film" kind of thing into something, much, much bigger.
Yet another bad visual pun.
The story for Dark of the Moon has two major plot twists. The first one happens pretty early in the film, and you probably'd seen it coming. The second plot twist is pretty mindblowing, and you'll wonder to yourself why you hadn't seen in coming. By the end, though, there are still some sub-plot holes left unplugged, and the ending isn't as satisfying as it could've been. It feels rushed, even.
But like I give a shit about the story. I came to see Optimus Prime tearing shit up, and that I did. Overall upon ten, I give the story a fish, because watching my hero gracing the silver screen and beating the crap out of other robots was my Prime objective.
See what I did there!?
Moving on to the direction of the movie. Dark of the Moon makes ample use of the cameraman-never-eat-enough shakey cam effect, which I absolutely love. It fits perfectly with the somewhat dark tone that the movie takes on, especially towards the latter half of the movie. The camera work is messy, confusing, and everything it should be if you were in the middle of a giant robot deathmatch. Shots are perfectly placed during the less hectic moments and epic scenes are accentuated by the excellent camera angles. As per all Michael Bay films, there's a gratituous and almost unnecessary number of explosions.
Hey dude, pull my finger! I think I'm gonna fart- BOOOOM
The sound direction is lacking, though. Save for a mere one or two commercial songs used, the music consisted mostly of loops from the main orchestral theme. Also, the trademark "EEH-OOH-AAH-EEH-UUH" transforming noise isn't as prominent as it was in the other films. I was very much disappointed with that. Sound effects, though, were sufficiently meaty and the lack of music during some fighting scenes added to the brutality of the action.
Also, I have no idea what I'm talking about so I'll give the direction a solid three thumbs up, though I only have two.
Though apparently a gifted few do have three.
Finally, the characters.
(What kind of review format is this man)
Six words. Rosie Huntington-Whitely and Optimus Ka-frigging Prime. Now that's just sexy.
I feel that Optimus Prime wasn't featured as much as he should be though, and I'm extremely unhappy about that. I don't want to see human drama with Sam and his job and what shit, I paid to see Optimus be his badass self. Also, Optimus is like a total pansy until the final scene. Like WTF. Not enough Optimus + Optimus acting like a n00b = that sucks. The final few scenes do proper justice to him though, and he kicks some serious metal ass.
This is the kind of crap I want to see.
That, and just look at this.
*drools*
She's just. So. Sexy. What with that British accent and her slight bucktooth thing going on. HOT DAMNNNNN SON. Rosie > Megan Fox ANY DAY. Plus there aren't any rumours about her being a man SO THAT'S GOOD.
Everyone else doesn't matter honestly.
Because I have no idea how to conclude my the characters, I'll just nod and say it's awesome.
*nods*
"It's awesome."
All in all, this is probably the best movie of the year so far, and for those of you who haven't watched it, do yourself a favour, get out from the underneath of that rock you're living in and go watch it NOW. GO.
You know, now that I've finally watched Transformers and I've gotten my Optimus Prime kicks, I don't think I have anything to look forward to for the next few yea-
Oh my goodness.
And now I'm just so disgusted I could puke.
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